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J
Jeffrey Abed uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, March 21, 2021
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+ 9
We had two projects recently that were really fun: a unique motor to play with and our table saw project for the woodshop.
I bought a 1/2HP gearmotor that turns at 4rpm (very slow). He wired up the junction box to turn it on and off, and we attached things in the kitchen to it and watched them rotate slowly with unstoppable torque. We kept playing around with it in the kitchen for three days, putting different attachments on and discussing humorous ways we could use this unusual motor. Eventually we put a 2x4 on it and watched it spin like a propeller. It's still on there. We talked about the difference between motors and generators and watched videos that showed huge machines at power factories, prompting discussions of how the modern world got to where it is today. My dad loved history, and was fascinated by the idea of starting from scratch in the woods (as a purely hypothetical scenario). There is a show on History channel called Alone, which features 10 survivalists who compete in an extreme climate to see who can stay there the longest on their own. He watched every episode of that show’s seven full seasons, I watched about half of them with him, and over those two or three months he was watching that show we had so many fun conversations about making a log cabin from scratch, or building a shelter and setting up fishing lines, or figuring out other clever ways to survive in the wild. We enjoyed this show from the comfort of our living room, of course. He would quote Alan, from Season 1, and his mantra of “Let’s Continue…” which was how he kept going in the woods. His favorite character on that show was Sam – who he (and I) always thought would never last 5 days in the wilderness. When he found that show I was so surprised at how much he liked it. It touched a deep and interesting vein of thought that my dad had for imagining things being built and rebuilt when and where you need it most. The survival show was authentic and some of the things they built, like canoes from scratch, were simply brilliant. It was a really great treasure to watch that show together. We had so many fun, interesting discussions while we watched it at home together during the early months of covid.
After watching countless wood-working videos on Youtube together, starting around the time Azmi arrived, we dreamed of playing around in a real woodshop and making furniture and gadgets by hand. For father’s day last year I got him a dozen new tools and we spent over a week opening, learning about and using each one. We built a woodshop in my garage and made some of the things we saw in the videos together. He made this beautiful 8-seat picnic table for our deck, and we had the best picnics of our lives on it. He ordered plans for a heavy-duty workbench and we build it in the garage together. We expanded that workbench with an identical one sized for a giant table saw that looks just like the one in the impressive Youtube video, which we watched at least 10 times. Just a few weeks before he went into the hospital, we finished the table saw with a dust collection system and made some huge cuts that only that saw could make. It has the 2HP Sears Craftsman table saw he bought in 2005 to build our wall-to-wall shelves in the living room with. Upgrading that classic table saw, which was the first large tool he bought to build things with in the garage, was a fun project and he couldn’t believe how good it turned out. While I was smoothening and shaping the handle piece in the garage, I kept bringing it inside to check with him until it felt “just right”. It was so cold this winter he let me wood glue and clamp items in the kitchen for almost a week straight. The table saw was hands-down his favorite tool, the miter saw was second, and he loved the router table we got a few months ago to make pieces fit together. He loved routers. We have four of them, all purchased in the last year or so for recreational woodworking in the garage.
We were really bored during COVID so we needed more hobbies. After playing around in the garage with some of the older tools we had, I bought a bunch of brand new tools for my dad for Father's Day last June. It's all the things in the Ryobi photo. We opened them one at a time each day, read the instructions and played around with test cuts. Our garage was clean and nearly empty so the woodworking shop was a fun project and my dad was really excited to set it up. The first thing we made was that giant sturdy worktable. You can see with the table saw now that our little woodshop was really coming along... I started working on that mailbox that looks like our house and kept at it for months in my spare time, little by little adding details by hand. I am really, really sad that he won't get to see it fully completed. He got so much amusement as it went from a "watch me build a mailbox that looks like our house" joke to an adorable mailbox that actually looks like our house, with little hand-made dormers and glass windows to boot.
J
Jeffrey Abed uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, March 21, 2021
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For years and year we always bought the same milk from Giant. It lasts like a week and a half or so and tasted OK. Several years ago my dad, looking solely at the expiration dates of different milk at the grocery store, noticed one brand seemed to last literally two or three months in the fridge! He brought a gallon of Lactaid home and showed me the label. We were both confused! Why was all the other milk we’d ever drank in our lives marked as two weeks expiration date but this one was well over two months? We noticed the package said “ultra-pasteurized” and googled some milk facts. This is what we learned: it turns out in the US, the powerful Milk and Dairy Lobby succeeded in tricking the entire US population that milk could only be pasteurized, and never “ultra-pasteurized”, and by extension had to be refrigerated for its entire existence all the way from the farm to your home. This, we learned, isn’t the case in the rest of the world. In Europe for example we found that over 90% of milk drank by kids and adults is ultra-pasteurized, usually un-refrigerated and sealed in single servings (like the pantry milk you can buy for kids’ lunches). People in Europe open and drink as needed from smaller, sealed servings. Once the seal is broken each smaller serving has to be drank or thrown out. But it can sit in stacks in your pantry for many months! And refrigeration is not necessary at all. In the US, the lack of ultra-pasteurization is simply a tool to keep shelf life lower and milk consumption higher. We never got to run the numbers, but it means milk should be cheaper that’s all. Anyways, we were shocked to learn all this, since it applies to the entire milk-drinking population of the US, and always bought the Lactaid 1% milk from then on. This “Milk Conspiracy” was also a good subject starter for what other things in the US might be kept artificially one way despite that way not being the best way to do things. I’ve never looked at milk the same way again.
This reminds me of the conversations we had when we visited the Fair Oaks Mall a couple years ago together. We talked about how much more expensive items at the mall have to be simply to account for their pro-rata share of the enormous air-conditioning bill that the mall requires. All those giant open spaces and freezing cold air conditioning (which tricks you into being uncomfortable and impulse spending) comes at a direct cost to each and every item sold in the mall (theoretically at least). Without any numbers to cling to, I still feel like the “air-conditioning” tax in the malls makes every item at least 5% more expensive, just because it’s sold in a cold, giant building. I never really liked the mall, except when I was young. My dad didn’t really like the mall either, but he was a fan of the Macy’s superstores and would go to the mall just to check out the Macy’s there. My dad really liked ordering things online, much more so once COVID started. He would have little items being delivered two or three times a week. Just this past week for example, a pair of cut gloves that he ordered arrived. And a 12-month 2021 Calendar featuring all Shiba Inu dogs like Azmi. I really wish he was here to see it. In 2020 I got a “big dog” calendar and we looked forward to the different dogs it showed every month. One month last year there was a dog that looked a lot like Azmi. When he flipped the calendar to the new month he lit up as he saw the Azmi look-alike on the page.
J
Jeffrey Abed posted a condolence
Sunday, March 21, 2021
Over the last ten years since I started driving, I needed more than a couple jump starts. There was a small electricity drain in my car a few years ago and it kept causing my good battery to run out of charge if I didn’t drive it for a day or so. It turned out to be a broken electronic window switch that wouldn’t open or close the window anymore, but always drew power. In the weeks that it took to figure out what was happening, my dad jump-started my car five times at least in the driveway. Back then I knew very little about electricity from a practical perspective, and my dad used to enjoy clanking the + and – terminals together, making sparks, and holding both of the jumpers loosely in one hand and pretending they were shocking him. It took awhile for me to figure out which of those tricks were actually safe. All the while I was yelling “Stop! Don’t play around like that! What if something happens!” etc etc. It was funny in hindsight. Eventually he showed me that the 12V cannot pass through the human body’s resistance and it was, quite literally, impossible to close that particular circuit with just his body alone. He showed me some convincing efforts and I learned not to fear the battery terminals any longer (haha). But, connecting them to grounded metal, does complete the circuit and needs to be avoided at all costs. Some time after he showed me all this, I found a video on Youtube where this British guy (in England) directly shorts a 240V power outlet onto a large, craftsman style socket wrench. We both watched that video, and the wrench quickly turns red hot and literally disintegrates like a filament. So that made the case for the other battery situation very clear. He thought it was incredibly stupid, but entertaining to watch. I appreciate much more now the practical jokes he played on me as these lessons, from jump-starting my car a bunch, are rather fundamental for battery connections of any kind and I clearly understand it now. I never took electrical engineering in college or had any experience with electronics in academia, so over the years this was how I was able to take things my dad showed me and really understand them at a deeper, more intuitive level. Eventually we discussed how voltage in electricity is analogous to pressure in fluid systems. With that relationship in mind, the 12V battery from my car simply didn’t have enough pressure to flow through me, and no matter how strong the battery is, if it outputs 12V, it will never close a circuit on me. That was the key takeaway. Previously, I could never intuitively understand why a 100A 12V battery for a car (showing >1000W power on the label) wasn’t dangerous to people. Thanks to my dad, I’ll never not know why.
J
Jeffrey Abed posted a condolence
Sunday, March 21, 2021
One time Wadad left a recipe for lentil soup and after she went home to Michigan he wanted to make the same lentil soup. She knew he liked it and left the recipe, handwritten, for him in our kitchen. I wasn’t helping cook at the time, but I did learn later that the recipe featured a line-item ingredient of “2Tb flour”, or two tablespoons of flour. My dad read this as “2 lb” flour and boldly moved forward with the dish. What resulted was quite a humorous dinner table discover as my dad, Ashley, and I were sitting at the table soon, snapping our spoons off into the serving vessel as it was hard and chunky, like drying concrete. We all tried to eat it, was the funny thing. We didn’t realize what was wrong yet, and me and Ash made these funny faces at each other as we tried eating pieces from the spoon. Mmm… it tastes… kind of chalky? Is this normal? It’s very lumpy? My dad goes something is not right. And brings Wadad’s hand-written recipe to the table. Me and Ash are still trying, through giggles, to eat the lentil soup. My dad goes “what does this say?” and shows the recipe to Ash. She says I think it says “2 Tb” or two tablespoons. My dad goes “Fuck!”, and we asked what’s wrong. He goes, I thought this said “2 lb” flour. “Shit! Goddammit!” He was really mad, but quickly calmed down. We couldn’t joke about that for awhile as that mistake really did piss him off. Eventually we would be cooking a recipe and could make a joke or reference to double-checking key proportions of ingredients and got his approval that it was mutually funny. To make sure we’re all on the same page here, 2lb of flour turned the lentil soup into that silly putty they sell on tv for $19.95, haha.
I don’t want to talk about politics, but my dad was very intelligent and enjoyed staying on top of political trends and talking historically about the sequence of events that got us to where we are today. He would talk about famous blunders like they were yesterday. Whenever a reference to George W. Bush came around, it inevitably ended with my dad joking “Now watch this drive!”. He would tell me about Ford’s famous fall and Chevy Chase imitating that fall on SNL, and getting himself hurt by accident! It was a funny memory and I liked when he brought it up. We also joked about George Bush Sr. getting in trouble in recent years, in his 80’s, for grabbing someone’s ass in a wheelchair. He laughed out loud whenever we were reminded of that incident. A few years ago, after he mentioned the Chevy Chase SNL sketch, we watched the movie Funny Farm together. That movie is an absolute classic comedy, and he really liked seeing it again. The dog, that Chevy Chase gets in the movie, which immediately ran away was one of the funniest scenes. And the crazy mailman in that movie really made him laugh. His favorite comedy was almost certainly My Cousin Vinny. He loved the way Pesci’s character absent-mindedly kept pushing the Judge’s buttons. He loved the dialogue in the scene where Vinny first meets his cousins in the jail cell (it’s raunchy and hilarious). He loved the way Pesci said “what is a grit?” He loved everything about that movie.
J
Jeffrey Abed uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, March 21, 2021
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For most of my life, “I love you” was a holiday/special occasion thing to say. These last three years or so my Dad would tell me he loved me every day, often three or four times in a single day. After my dad’s stroke two and a half years ago, he was much more fragile and sensitive than I’d known him to be before that. He started ending each and every phone call we had with a pause after goodbye to say “I Love You.” It became a new normal to end conversations with “Ok, great, goodbye. Goodbye. I love you! I love you too! Ok, goodbye!” Prior to these three years my dad didn’t normally say I love you on such a frequent, daily basis. Even though it was always known, of course! In general my parents said I love you more on the usual special occasions and holidays, not as a frequent verbal reminder. After the strokes, he ended every conversation that way, with me, Ashley, my sisters, his siblings, and even with my mom by reflex on occasion (which was kind of funny when it happened, telling your ex-wife “love you!” before hanging up. Lol). I really did appreciate this new habit (saying I love you a lot) and it persists to this day. Whenever I speak with one of my sisters or my mom, or anyone really, I end every conversation that way now. It was really nice to learn that from him. Every time I think of the phrase “I love you” I hear his voice.
After my dad’s stroke, I made sure to introduce him to a good, quality tv show as often as needed so he had something to latch onto in evenings or spare time. It’s just a fact of modern life, we all need to find things to keep us entertained and tv shows are one of those things that does that for us. But there are some shows that are much higher quality than others, and I was going to start from the very best sources and work our way down. My dad wasn’t super interested in television dramas and shows before, preferring live sports, news, or the occasional movie on HBO. To make things more accessible I got my dad a chromebox and wireless keyboard/mouse combo to use with the tv in the living room to navigate Netflix, HBO, Showtime and other apps. This was a first for him. I also setup Bose surround-sound speakers around his chair so he could more easily hear all the dialogue and enjoy the show’s he watched more. It was a big adjustment at first, having to “choose” what to watch instead of seeing it when it airs. But he quickly came round, and pretty much always kept a “favorite show” going from then on. His first show was the Sopranos which was a really high bar to beat. Flash forward a year and some change later and we adopted Azmi. Within a month or so Azmi chewed up all of the cables for the speakers and ripped apart the receiver that setup the Bose surround sound. This was a pain in the butt as his speakers were really nice. He was so mad at Azmi! I got my dad a new set of surround sound speakers and new cables to connect them. I set up a series of 3D-printed “totem-pole” looking objects to block the areas around the speakers to keep Azmi from messing with the new ones. It worked! My dad liked adjusting the placement of these little blocker objects to keep Azmi from going behind the couch and messing with his speakers. One time he put all of these little blocker objects in a semi-circle around his reclining chair, and Azmi was so confused because he couldn’t pass through the (invisible) barrier that my dad made and we both laughed at how effective it worked to keep Azmi from crossing the boundary. Eventually Azmi knocked a few of them over and got past the barrier, but for awhile it was very funny to see Azmi’s stunned realization that he wasn’t allowed to pass through the line of objects surrounding my dad’s chair. With the newer Azmi-proof speakers came an upgrade to Apple tv from the chromebox. My dad loved this so much more than I expected. The Apple tv linked directly to his phone so he could adjust the volume, pause and play, and go back through the menus on the tv easily with his phone. I would’ve gotten it sooner had I known how convenient it was for him.
My dad liked science fiction movies and tv shows. He also loved discussing what parts are plausible and what parts are just pure sci-fi. We both agreed that life in deep oceans in the solar system is extremely likely, and elsewhere in the universe, almost certainly, as well. We watched the newest season of the Expanse very recently together, and that show released its fifth season episodes one week at a time on Wednesdays during November, December, and January. My dad was really excited for those Wednesday episodes, and we watched them together while making an evening out of it each week. He had a crush on one of the actresses on the show, her name is Shohreh Aghdashloo. From the earlier seasons she emerged as one of our favorite characters, and I realized he really liked her around the third season when, as we discussed how funny her character was, my dad showed off that he knew her actual name, where she was from and a bunch of little facts about her. He had clearly googled her at some point :D It was really cute, especially because her name is quite challenging. I had to look it up, for example, to spell it in that last sentence. He liked her character a lot in Expanse. If you’ve ever seen the show, you’ll realize how good she is in it. My dad mentioned she was his favorite character on the show, and her lines made us laugh really hard many, many times.
J
Jeffrey Abed posted a condolence
Sunday, March 21, 2021
He loved air compressors, motors and Home Depot. Except that one summer when the air compressor at the drycleaner struggled to keep up. That summer he hated air compressors. But in general, he loved machines like these. Motors and electronic gadgets were one of the focal subjects we gravitated back and forth to on a daily basis. He taught me how feedback control systems work, and we would speculate on solutions for right-sized electronic circuits for a particular device (i.e., guessing the power draw of an appliance before checking the label. It was like a game.) We recreated many of Faraday’s most informative experiments in detailed discussions. The idea that Michael Faraday rotated an iron disk near a magnet, over 200 years ago, was agreed by us both to symbolically mark the first official “hard drive”; it was just that Faraday didn’t know it. My dad designed entire disk drives, from the controllers all the way to larger subsystems like RAID and JBOD. Back in the 1980’s, this was trailblazing stuff. A few years ago I bought an original Quantum 5.25” hard drive from 1992. My dad’s technology is in that drive. It looks like a big cube, it wasn’t a flat rectangle yet. I presented it to him as a gift. He was thrilled and told me all kinds of neat things about it off the top of his head as soon as I handed it to him. We put it on the shelf, prominently, where he could see it from his chair. It wasn’t just theoretical knowledge that my dad put to good use though – my dad helped design and oversee drive production in facilities that leveraged massive automation systems to actually produce it.
My dad always told me how important it is to invent something useful. He was my Thomas Edison. Back in 2010 or so, we visited the Henry Ford Rouge Plant in Michigan. We saw the trains they had on display, and learned the history of the factory during World War 2. On that same trip we also visited Thomas Edison’s Menlo Park Factory, now a museum, in New Jersey. That trip was one of the best memories I have with him. We were given a long tour and shown all of the old belt-driven factory lines hanging overhead. It was incredible to see. We saw Edison’s room later in life, which was actually his library: a large square two-story room covered wall to wall, edge to edge with books all the up through the second floor which was wide open when you looked up to see the two-story tall walls of books. There was a spiral staircase near the back of the room, and a sliding ladder to the right. Next to the doorway entrance, in a nook to the left, was a cot lifted just a few inches off the ground with a single blanket and a pillow. The tour guide said later in life Edison would sleep in that cot and read from up and down his library. At the center of the library there was a large wooden stand with a cube, 1ft by 1ft by 1ft, of solid copper sitting on top of it. The cube was perfectly smooth, and engraved with a message. It was a gift that Edison received for his work, I think from France. We spent several minutes staring at that cube from a few feet away behind the guard ropes, and it was a heck of a thing to see in person. We talked about that cube from time to time and joked about the uniqueness of such an object (it weighs over 1000lbs). My dad loved that trip, and it is a cherished memory. In stark contrast to the imagery of Edison’s library, my dad slept in a King size bed every night and had the comfiest chair on the planet in the tv room. He was comfortable, although he similarly sought new things continually to satisfy his curiosity. It could be a pain sometimes to find him a new show that he wanted to watch. He was very picky and I set the bar too high after showing him the Sopranos and Dexter. He absolutely loved the Sopranos. Watching the Sopranos with my dad was the absolute best. After we watched the Sopranos I showed him Dexter, wondering if he’d be interested. He loved Dexter and watched the whole show. It was unexpected but he told me he might’ve enjoyed the show even more than the Sopranos. Prior to showing my dad these shows, these two were hands-down my favorite shows as well. I was really happy that I could watch both of them with him and that he found them so highly entertaining. We watched There Will Be Blood together, over two nights, and he thought it was one of the best films he’d seen in many years. We watched The Irishman, over two nights, and it was an absolute blast to see Pesci, Pacino and De Niro again. When I was younger, my dad showed me all the best films: the Godfathers, Scarface, Analyze This and Analyze That. He also showed me the Rambo movies when I was younger. We loved Stallone and the newest one was a really cool surprise for us when it came out last year.
J
Jeffrey Abed uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, March 21, 2021
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+ 2
Our favorite Sushi establishment remembers us for our nearly 4 straight years of weekly visits together when I was in high school. The owner of Yoko Sushi, named Rich, used to speak Arabic to my dad. This was surprising, because Rich was Japanese. Rich spent several years as a sushi chef in Saudi Arabia, and would always speak traditional Arabic greetings to my dad when we entered and were served in the sushi bar. He loved that. Sushi dinners were one of our best bonding experiences when I was younger as we’d discuss philosophy at each sushi visit. He taught me about Friedrich Nietzsche when I was 13, and Milton Friedman when I was 14, and Karl Marx when I was 15, and then, switching gears quite a bit, introduced me to Carl Sagan when I was 16. Those dinners together are treasured memories. Growing up, I was a class clown all the way through middle school; but starting high school these weekly dinners helped me gain perspective, and the confidence I needed to excel, and I shaped up and was able to responsibly assume leadership roles in my school because of that. I wasn’t exceptional, but practicing and sharing all of the things my dad taught me made me feel exceptional. If anything, I was exceptionally stubborn. In 9th grade art class, the instruction was to make an oil pastel of a flower pot that was sitting on each table. I spent three weeks in that class making a poster-size mirrored-reflection of Nietzsche’s face from the cover of a biography I was reading, giant mustache and all, and it turned out awesome. For not following instructions though, she gave me a B. I was mad, but it was worth it. I still have that oil painting on my wall – it’s been up ever since I took it home when I was 13 and showed it to him. He loved that painting, and was proud of me for it even though it wasn’t what the instructions said to do. That painting is still on the wall, nearly 15 years later. My dad had a lot of artistic talent that I didn’t know about as well. He drew an excellent, incredibly realistic pencil and charcoal sketch of Karl Marx when he was younger, and we still have it framed. It’s about the same size as the Nietzsche picture I made, but his drawing is significantly better. He also drew, in pencil and charcoal, and beautiful portrait of a wolf. It surprises me that we didn’t talk about it more, as he mentioned it more than once but the talent to make the pencil sketches of Marx and the wolf was incredibly unique. When I was spending time on some of the intricate details of the mailbox I’ve been making in the garage, he commented I had much more patience that he did as I was working with tiny pieces and sanding little imperfections for a long time. After seeing the drawings he made, I am sure he had simply overlooked the remarkable patience he must have had for artistic expression when he was younger because his drawings are exquisitely detailed, with hand-sketched shadows and many layers. The proportions were also perfect, which is very difficult to get right in portraits. I have been looking for it everywhere but I can't find it yet. If anyone's seen it, please let me know.
When I visited Singapore, he told me where to visit and we compared a lot of fond memories of how surprisingly good Tiger (local domestic) beer was, how beautiful the harbor looked, and how nice it would be to go and visit these places one day together. He spoke often of his business trips to Seoul and the memorable lay-overs in Osaka and Tokyo. Several years ago I stayed in Seoul for a summer and got to see many of the things he described, like the Sheila hotel. I didn’t stay there, but when dad worked for Samsung he stayed there a lot! And I visited the same small single-malt whisky bars in Seoul that he described. It was really, really cool. At the Korean restaurants, my dad’s shoes would stick out at the front area where everyone leaves their shoes. And most could cross their legs but my dad leaned against the wall, rather than attempt to eat dinner while sitting with his legs crossed under the table. His love for Asian food and culture is shared by every member of our family. We used to make Korean BBQ at home once or twice a month on a special grill.
We had really nice steaks and eggs recently for breakfast-for-dinner. Filet and eggs for dinner - why not! It turned out great. He loved the cast-iron steak recipe. Still, it doesn't compare to his homemade malfoof or maloobay.... Everytime I see popsicles, or fudge pops ("fudgies" we called them), I get really sad. They were his favorite. They're my favorite too.
J
Jeffrey Abed uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, March 21, 2021
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My father wasn’t just a role model to listen to, he led by example. Each of my siblings, and myself, were coached in at least two sports by my Dad. If you know me, then it might be a surprise to find out he once coached my soccer team, my baseball team, and my basketball team. Why would this be a surprise? Because I just wasn’t a sporty type. But he put forth a huge effort to double-check! Even as the coach’s son I wasn’t interested in sports. I did kind of like basketball I suppose. But there aren’t many one-eyed basketball players for good reason I bet. Without that experience I wouldn’t even know the rules of those games. He coached my other sisters in at least as many sports. Ashley and Lindsey’s athletics were the pride of the household for over a decade, with weekly games and tournaments and – for some reason – they almost always won. Yessir, he taught them well. He would take them to their games, practices, extra clinics and far away tournaments and supported their dreams with daily commitment. They each earned a college scholarship for basketball – and he was so incredibly proud of you both for that. Watching you play in college, driving up and down the East Coast, was a whole new adventure that filled him with bliss. Lindsey went on to play professionally in Europe; watching you play from 1000 miles away on the big screen at home, in his comfy chair, was almost surreal and filled him with even more joy. My equally incredible, strong and loving mom was a huge part of the successfulness of these endeavors. They really made a great team and raised every one of us to lean in, take chances, work hard and succeed.
My dad met my mom at Micropolis in Boulder, Colorado in 1987. My father was an electrical engineer and my mother was a secretary in charge of the office. Knowing he was an avid Broncos fan, my mom bet him lunch that the Raiders would beat the Broncos in the next game. Whoever lost, had to take the other out to lunch. She won. My dad was a big man and an honorable husband. He wasn't afraid to accept the role of father and role model for my step-sister Kim. When my older sister Ashley was born, they got married and continued to produce me, my younger sister Lindsey, and then Maddy on 4 year intervals like they were appeasing a clock-wise witness. It was prime financial planning for college, they said. Or just a phenomenal coincidence. All five of my siblings, myself included, are four years apart. We were a handful and a half, spread out almost 20 years apart! How you managed to raise us all so well is the big mystery I’ll never understand. Your daily hard work and endless, selfless love got us there, I guess. Still, my dad’s shoes are massive and will never be filled. I can barely comprehend how you built such a great life for us all. For years my dad promised to give every one of his kids a few things to prepare us for life: good schools, our first car, and a college education. He made good on his promise to each and every one of us. I am glad he was able to fulfill that promise in time to enjoy a few years of semi-retirement, with Ashley taking the day to day at the cleaners these past couple years especially. I hope he knew how impressive this achievement was for a family with five kids. When I have kids, I intend to follow his example and give them everything they could ever need, and then some, to prepare them for this world. Just like he did for all of us. I miss you so much Dad. I love you.
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Love, Layla purchased flowers
Saturday, March 20, 2021
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Love and peace to all of you. Thinking of Majeed and his sense of humor every day. He is missed.
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Wadad Abed purchased flowers
Wednesday, March 17, 2021
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Majeed has been a very important part of my life and he will always be in my heart.
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Bassam and Peter purchased flowers
Wednesday, March 17, 2021
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Majeed brought so much love and joy to our lives. He will always be in our hearts.
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Kim Moltzer posted a condolence
Sunday, March 14, 2021
Dear Dad,
This is the most difficult letter I have ever wrote. It tears me apart trying to write this. I still pretend that this isn’t true. I don’t believe that you are truly gone. It’s not fair. The relationship that we’ve had over the past few years has just started to blossom.
Our relationship wasn’t without its ups and downs, and I may not have always shown it growing up; but I have always loved you Dad.
You were my dad. My father figure to look up to. You took me in and loved me. You were always present. From homework to building a replica Mission in fourth grade (we got an A+). You were never just a father when you felt like it, like I saw constantly from my biological Jim. You became the father figure that I needed in my life. You loved me and I loved you.
I remember after Jim passed, the hug and conversation that we had. I told you that you had been and you were my only dad. I told you how much I loved you and all that you were there for in my life, and you said that even though I was a pain in the butt sometimes, I was always your daughter. That meant the world to me.
There were times as I got older that we drifted apart. During those times, I didn’t get to show you the love and appreciation that was well overdue. We grew apart. Those were some of my saddest days, I missed my father.
Once we reconnected and started to have dinners, birthdays, and just because nights at your house, those were the best of memories. We reconnected. My kids connected. They loved the winding road to get to Sedo’s house. They loved coming to see you. I loved coming to see you. Whatever time we planned we were always there early. We got to talk about life, work, the kids, finances, and everything in between while helping you cook and clean.
I miss our conversations, and the advice you would give me. If I was upset over a situation or just overwhelmed with life, you would always reassure me. You would tell me that I’ll be alright and doing a damn good job on my own.
I miss your voice, your laugh, your attitude, your personality, your essence. I miss you. I wish I recorded coming into your house. I will always miss hearing you say “Heeeeyyyy Kimmy, Kimbo or Kiddo! What’s going on?” Words that I took for granted and now replay in my head.
I am not the only one mourning you. My kids love you. My kids miss their Sedo. You will always be their Sedo. I wish they had more time to spend with you. Isis and Aziza miss you the most.
I remember being pregnant with Aziza, and talking to you about potential baby names. You loved Aziza’s name. You loved her middle name Zahara. They are both Arabic. You gave your stamp of approval. I will continue to try to say Zahara with the beauty and umph as you did that day.
My kids miss you dearly. Isis has been having nightmares since you passed. We just started to get through them by having her read bedtime stories to me. It’s funny because your bedtime stories are those of legends. Your ability to weave stories from stuffed animals we had as kids, are still talked about decades later by us all. We will never forget them.
Isis and I read a book the other night about rocks, and the different kinds you can find. On the last page we read about memory rocks. Memory rocks are rocks that remind you of a person, time or place. Isis wants to find a memory rock at your house that will always remind her of you. I want the other kids to take their time and do the same. When they find one, I will ask them to tell me the happiest memory that they have with you. We will cherish them forever and always think of you.
We are all struggling with the hurt and loss of not having you here physically. We miss not being able to see, touch and hear you again. We are struggling. We miss you so much.
I will do my best to keep this family together. I have helped raise my siblings. I will be there for them, and them for me. You have raised an amazing family, and we will all make you proud. We will cherish our stories of you. We will speak of your journeys, the trials you overcame, and the many accomplishments you have made.
I will watch over my siblings and children, like your spirit will do as well. I don’t mind if you give Douglas a kick in the right direction from time to time if he gets as mischievous as you once were.
A family you have created, and a family we will stay. We will build, cook, ball, draw, create, save and tattoo because you taught us to dream for more.
We love you Dad/Sedo.
Always.
Until the end of time.
Love you always and forever,
Kim, Jaiden, Isis, Douglas and Aziza
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Kevin Troutman lit a candle
Saturday, March 6, 2021
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Jeffrey Abed uploaded photo(s)
Saturday, March 6, 2021
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Dad, I miss you so much. You are and always will be the most important person in my life. My role model above all. You taught me to be like George Carlin and Question Everything. I owe all that I am and ever will be to your unconditional love.
I am blessed and proud to say I spent nearly each day of the last three years with you. We took turns cooking dinner, watched the best movies and shows together, talked for endless hours about science, technology and history and patiently hunkered down for coronavirus as soon as it was announced. You were eager to find new and interesting things. A little over a year ago, you adopted a baby Shiba Inu puppy. You named the puppy Azmi after my favorite bedtime story that you made up for me as a kid when we still lived in California. The bedtime story was about these misadventures that ‘Azmi the Dog’ and ‘Johnny and Camel’ would have together, walking around in Los Angeles or something funny like that. They did get lost in the desert one time, and were saved by Johnny’s family (a bunch of camels). This was my favorite bedtime story that you told, although the ‘Three Little Buzzlightyears’ was a close runner up! Azmi still waits under your desk or by your chair for you to come home so he can sit by your feet. Azmi will be loved and cared for every day that you’re gone. Don’t worry, Dad, I'll keep a close eye on him and play with him everyday for you.
As far as my previous life goes, I don't know how I'll find the strength to do anything without you. But I know you would want me to try, so I promise you I will not give up. I'll keep a place in my heart for you, always, and do all of your favorite things for you while you're gone. Last night I had mom and the girls over for dinner: I made them your favorite cast-iron steaks, with the onions and potatoes, salad, edamame and rocky road ice cream for dessert. They all loved it too. I'll have everyone over every week for dinner, and cook them your favorites. Me and Kim compiled your recipes into a book and will make your favorite foods often. I'm going to plant the most beautiful garden this year for you, and plant fruit trees to grow in your honor in the backyard. Ramsey will help me, and it will be beautiful. I'll finish the woodshop we were building and use it to make gifts for everyone you loved. I found the plans you got for the rocking chair, and the beautiful coffee table you wanted to make. I'll make them for you, and dedicate them to your everlasting memory. The rocking chair looks really hard. It might take me awhile.
I wish, more than anything I've ever wished for, that you were still here. It is really, really hard for me to accept that you're gone. Everytime I hear a noise upstairs, I think this is all just a bad dream and you'll come down and meet me for coffee. I am starting to accept the silence, but life is so much harder without you. I hope you are in a peaceful place, and I know you will be watching out for me from within. I'll carry your light alongside mine. I'll do my best to make you proud. I love you Dad. I miss you, and will always love you.
Your son, Jeffrey.
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The family of Majeed Khalil Abed uploaded a photo
Saturday, March 6, 2021
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The family of Majeed Khalil Abed uploaded a photo
Saturday, March 6, 2021
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The family of Majeed Khalil Abed uploaded a photo
Saturday, March 6, 2021
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The family of Majeed Khalil Abed uploaded a photo
Saturday, March 6, 2021
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The family of Majeed Khalil Abed uploaded a photo
Saturday, March 6, 2021
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The family of Majeed Khalil Abed uploaded a photo
Saturday, March 6, 2021
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The family of Majeed Khalil Abed uploaded a photo
Saturday, March 6, 2021
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Jordyn Roberts lit a candle
Thursday, March 4, 2021
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Thank you for so much you did and the hard work will continue! I’m glad i grew alongside with the Abed’s I’m so happy I’m glad that our families are still close for so long! I love you and rest easy
Adams-Green Funeral Home & Crematory
721 Elden Street | Herndon, VA 20170
P: (703) 437-1764 or (703) 471-4090 | E: bill@adamsgreen.com
